>Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Bible Study – The Wound

“In the heart of everyman is the desperate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”

The Question that Haunts Every Man

“The tragedy of life is what dies in a man while he lives.” – Albert Schweitzer

The question that haunts every man: do we have what it takes? Am I powerful? (Important, valued, meaningful)

  • Without a great battle in which a man can live and die, the fierce part of his nature goes underground and sort of simmers there in a sullen anger that seems to have no reason.…
  • every man’s deepest fear: to be exposed, to be found out, to be discovered as an imposter, and not really a man. “I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid” – Adam, Genesis 3:10

The Wound
Do I have what it takes? Am I a man?

  • Masculinity is bestowed by father (In the Bible: blessing, name)
  • Even Jesus needed to hear words of affirmation from his father.

    “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” Luke 3:22

  • Femininity can not bestow masculinity but can emasculate (over protection, names, etc.)
  • Father must actively intervene; mother must let go.
  • Father needs to engage; if not, we end up with a father wound
  • Every man has a wound because every father is a son of Adam (Your father wasn’t Jesus)
  • Not necessarily one day (subtle messages over time)
  • Wounds causes a lie
  • The lie leads to a vow which leads to a false self
    (Father never affirms; Vow: I will get his affirmation; False self: overdriven, perfectionist)
  • False self is usually either violent (driven) or passive (retreat man) or both

Bible Verse
Genesis 27:1-41 Jacob and Esau (emphasizing below verses)

  • Verse 34: When Esau heard his father’s words, he burst out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me—me too, my father!”
  • Verse 36: …”Haven’t you reserved any blessing for me?”
  • Verse 38: Esau said to his father, “Do you have only one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!” Then Esau wept aloud.
  • Verse 41: Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. He said to himself, “The days of mourning for my father are near; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”

Study Questions

  1. Describe Esau? Describe Jacob?
  2. What is the difference between the two blessings?
  3. Why was the blessing so important to Esau? Is your father’s approval important to you?
  4. How did these events impact Esau negatively? How did they impact Jacob negatively? (further reading)
  5. How has your father’s blessing (encouragement, pride) impacted you? What experience with your father stands out?
  6. How do you think you have you impacted your son(s) lives?

    Next Week: Continue discussion with question #6 and relevant Bible Study
    Next Topic: The solution to the father wound. Hint: Galatians 4:4-7

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